The Busboy Blues

I woke up on fire, again, this morning 
still screaming 
--courtesy of the nightly terrors-- 
a bow bending minutes like bamboo 

stretched canvas forced to sell dime bags on the corner 

the dream was over 

the dogs barking 
the coffee always burnt 
the gut there 
and hungry 

I move the body to the other side of the bed 
self as other on my mind again 

"where the fuck are my keys!" 
no time to think 
the heat hits me all at once 
and 
the armies of light 
try sneaking 
their way into my room 

a murder on the horizon 

I bat it away, choke it away 
find the button 
and press the button 
nuclear war isn’t hard 
just heartless 

heavy torrents of oxygen, thinned out 
find their way into my lungs 
I exhale 
totally cognizant of the day 
and one more minute I’ll have to face 
alone 

found car keys move down 
to hip, where they hang 

soon they too will know the burden of occupation 

I make the journey 
from one dream to another 

only to discover 
the 
absence 
of 
self